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Monday, March 29, 2010

4 Reasons People Sabotage Their Dating Life

I have to admit when I first thought about online dating I was a little shy. After all when I was going to try it, it wasn’t exactly the “thing” to do. At least now there are much more online dating services to choose from and chances are many of your friends have already been online dating. If that is so, it will help to ask one of your friends to help you if you are one of the type who likes the buddy system. I remember my girlfriend asked me for help. She needed a little encouragement and needed to be shoed the “ropes” of how to get online and fill out the profile. Most of all what helped was the encouragement. She had already talked herself out of any good that could come from this type of dating that without a little one on one support, I doubt she would of taken the first step. On the other hand, many of you are independent and just need a little push and instruction that these blogs will give you. In fact you may like that fact that your family and friends do not know what you are quite up to yet. Whatever the case is please keep in mind that whatever may be hindering you, you first have to recognize it , deal with it and then move forward. Here are some typical things people let get in the way of their online dating success:

1. I am Bad with Computers or do not Own a Computer: Hey remember the phase “Where there is a will there is a way”. Well like I was telling you not only did my friend need a little encouragement, she did not own a computer, the only access she had to a computer was at work. At work she could only receive emails and not return them? Pretty tough odds you say of getting an online date ? Well not if you are willing to go the extra mile. I was her go between and she did end up meeting and dating a wonderful man for over two years! If you do not want a go between there are public computers at the library and that is always another option.

2. It’s not Romantic: Many people think this but actually this is so far from the truth. When I first went online, I was able to read many profiles which gave me an insight into the persons personality, their likes and dislikes, what they had in common with me and what was different from me. From there if I choose to correspond with them it gave me a basis to start up a conversation. I emailed for weeks on end without being board because we did have so many things in common. Once we chose to meet we already had a friendship foundation on which we could develop the relationship further. For me it was very romantic that someone was so interested in getting to know so much about me over a longer period of time than just a couple of drinks and a few dates.

3. Does it Really Work? The first time I was introduced to online dating it was through one of my older friends who had been dating online for quite a while. I was taken aback at first but then warmed up to the idea after she had told me how many wonderful men she had met. Did she ever meet any frogs? Of course she had . And no surprise, some did not even match the picture in their profile. Bottom line, like everything else in life, some people are honest and some are not. Online dating is popular for millions of people and many of them have success with online dating.

4. Is it Safe? For many people one of the first things they ask is if online dating is safe. Have you ever thought to yourself how safe is meeting someone in a bar, restaurant, golf course, playing tennis? The fact is that when we meet a stranger we really don’t know much about that person until we slowly get to know them. As we do in any other circumstance, we should always use our best judgment when first getting to know someone. We will talk more about this at a later time.

There are probably many more things people have that hinder them from taking that first step. The important thing to know is to first realize that you are hindering yourself, acknowledge what you are doing, find out why you are sabotaging yourself, strife to overcome these obstacles, and hopefully you will choose to move forward – Happy dating !

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....

11. Find a nearby bed-and-breakfast. Spend the night someplace where someone else makes the bed and cooks breakfast 

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Finding the Perfect Mate of My Desire

Exercise 4: Now that you have found your likes and dislikes in a mate, the last step is to define your desires and then put it all together. Think about the following an make a wide list(at least 8-10 ) in each category then dwindle your list down to the top 10 desires that are important to you. Category 1: Physical

Category 2: Entertainment

Category 3: Intellectual Pursuits

Category 4: Leisure

Category 5: Living Habits

Category 6: Social

This exercise will help you get to your core values and also help you not be too picky at the same time, risking eliminating a perfect partner for you.

Put it All Together

Take your answers from each exercise # 1-4 (exercises 1-3, posted March 14, 2010 ) and make a list of your top 10 answers for each exercise (eliminating exercise # 3, just be aware to watch out for this type) . You should have a sheet with the following headings, numbered 1 – 10 : Evaluating Them to Build a Profile . Must Have- Back to Basics, Finding the Perfect Mate of My Desire . Next look at your choices and take a clean piece of paper to write out your description : I am looking for a mate who…… and who likes to…… Now, it may have seemed like a lot of work to go through these exercises, but let me ask you – how much work has it been this far to go through all those dates that just weren’t right for you ? Let me hear from you !

Monday, March 15, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....



10. A bar, beers and darts. Anyone up for some healthy competition? 

Sunday, March 14, 2010

What Do you Want in A Mate ???

For some we absolutely know what we want in a mate, others not so sure, but one thing is for sure: most people know what they don’t want. By consciously knowing what you don’t want and what you do want or how particular traits make you feel, you will have more success in obtaining that perfect mate for you.
After all, dating is just that, a process by which we pick and choose people to see who will be a perfect match for us. Whatever your desire, casual relationship, a committed long term relationship or something in between there is someone out there who shares your same desire and is looking for you. These exercises will help you hone in on your desires and what you really are willing to share your life with.

Exercise 1: Using the qualities you found from the same exercise you did in “Evaluating Yourself to Build a Profile “ (March 11, 2010) reflect on several relationships so you have a diverse group of men / women to compare to. You may include non romantic male/ female  relationships (i.e. father, brother co-worker etc)

Exercise 2: Think about 2-4 relationships that didn’t go well and answer the following questions:

a. I felt ________(unhappy, sad, mad etc) with ______because he/she was (a cheat, inconsiderate etc)

b. These personality types/characteristics spell trouble for me:

c. I have learned the following from the above mistakes:

Exercise 3: Make a “Must Have- Back to Basics” list. Make a list of the 10 basic must haves in your perfect relationship. Most of us have basic wants are in a relationship and most studies show that the more in common we have with our significant other the better we withstand the turbulent times. Things like common religions, education and race. There are other basics you might want to include like, smoking, drinking, jobs, pets, families. children, etc. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions to the “basics” list and that you will get them all, but again it does help to recognize what these wants are.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....

9. Map out a long bike ride through a local park. 72

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Evaluating Yourself to Build a Profile

So now that you have determined that you are ready, the next step is to evaluate yourself so you can build a profile on a dating site of your choice. What ??? How do I talk about myself you say ? I haven’t even told anyone I am going to use an online dating service. Well the best was is to start reflecting back on relationships you have had. Think about the good times and the not so good times. In doing so you should come up with about 20 to 30 characteristics about you that you can rate on a scale of 1 – 10. One being the weakest and 10 being the strongest.

As you start to think back, think about various things you enjoyed in your relationship, t-things you did well and things you didn’t, perhaps reflect on things you would change and things you did perfectly! All these will give you an insight into your personality such as if you are creative, adventurous, accepting, cheerful, empathetic, energetic, friendly trustworthy, reliable, spirtural, talented and many other traits that can describe you. Now is a good time to take stock of yourself. Consider this a good time to evaluate learn and grow. Take the time you need for yourself, don’t shortchange YOU !

Once you have got your list together rate yourself. Start thinking about a profile (which we will talk about later) and what things if any you would like to improve upon (let’s face it, we can all get better). Take time out to work on the characteristics that you scored low on. Your new mate is just around the corner and will appreciate you just as much as you appreciate yourself !

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....


8. Stop at a fancy bakery and pick out a treat each — for each other. 

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Friday, March 5, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes ..... 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

What exactly is being Ready ? part 2

One author describes it like this

R: Recovered from the past, hopeful about the future
E: Engaged in activities that make you fun and interesting to be with
A: Accepting attitude toward men / women
D: Destined for love because you believe you can shape your destiny
Y: Yearning to connect and communicate with a loving and nurturing partner who
     respects your values, shares ;your interests and wants a close relationship

So lets take a look:

Destined for Love: Some people are very proactive about their careers but in the relationship department they just take the attitude “if it’s meant to be it will be”. While it is true some of the time that people do find each other by chance, more often than not, great relationships have been built on the same principals that they build their careers on: Persistence, preparation and networking. The computer can be your best friend when it comes to online dating. Don’t let your past preconceived notions hold you back from a prospect of happiness. You do have the courage and strength to shape your future. Take the first step.

Yearning to Connect: The most basic need we humans have is to feel loved and to give love. We all show it in different ways. It may be the feeling of mutual respect, finding someone we can talk to easily, someone we who is happy with themselves and therefore we can make happy just by being ourselves as well. We might love to share a meal that is delightful or delight in seeing a newborn chick. It might be a walk in the park, a kiss goodbye in the morning, a hug a night. What ever the feeling of the connection is there is one thing for sure, if your yearning to connect you are ready to make this relationship happen for you – one that could last a lifetime, one filled with fun and excitement with intimacy with a loving partner.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....


                          4.   Make a mixed tape or CD to call "your sound tracks"

        

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The World's Healthiest Foods: Feeling Great | Diigo

The World's Healthiest Foods: Feeling Great Diigo

What exactly is being Ready ? part 1

One author describes it like this :

R: Recovered from the past, hopeful about the future
E: Engaged in activities that make you fun and interesting to be with
A: Accepting attitude toward men / women
D: Destined for love because you believe you can shape your destiny
Y: Yearning to connect and communicate with a loving and nurturing partner who
     respects your values, shares ;your interests and wants a close relationship

So lets take a look:

Recovered from the past:  Lets face it, if you still have feelings toward your former partner, anything you do will not feel right. In addition if you are angry, hurt, disappointed about your past relationship you are not really opened up for a new one. Try and get past these feelings by renewing the “you” in yourself. Get to know yourself again and begin to like who you are. Learn from your past and get involved in activities that will help you get past the hurt stage. Once you can do this you will be in a much better place to “receive” the person who is perfect for you.

Engage in Activities: Not only should you engage in activities, you should try something new ! There is no better time than the present to explore new interests. This will make you interesting and you will have more things to talk about. Whenever we are learning and into new things, it tends to keep us youthful and “full of life”. Consider things that you have an interest in that you did not have the time to do or your previous partner did not have an interest to do with you. Take up a cooking class, aerobics, a new sport, a new language, start going to places you haven’t been before.

Accepting Attitude toward Men/Women:   Just because you have had a partner for most of your life doesn’t necessarily mean that you have an accepting attitude toward the opposite sex. Examine your thoughts and perceptions to see exactly where you stand. Do you often laugh at stereo typical jokes that downgrade men and women? Have you felt envious of your partner when they relax while you are doing chores? What are the “messages” you typically give yourself about the opposite sex ? Take some time to really think about your emotions and feelings about the opposite sex and see where you may want to improve your thinking as it could be reflective on your actions.  

Monday, March 1, 2010

100 Great Date Night Ideas - Share Yours

I'll share 100 Great Date Night Ideas with you over the upcoming months - Hope to hear from you on what yours are. Here goes .....

                                   3. Take turns singing cheesy out-of-tune ballads at 
                                       karaoke.oddcast.com or free karaoke.com