What Do you Want in A Mate ???

For some we absolutely know what we want in a mate, others not so sure, but one thing is for sure: most people know what they don’t want. By consciously knowing what you don’t want and what you do want or how particular traits make you feel, you will have more success in obtaining that perfect mate for you.
After all, dating is just that, a process by which we pick and choose people to see who will be a perfect match for us. Whatever your desire, casual relationship, a committed long term relationship or something in between there is someone out there who shares your same desire and is looking for you. These exercises will help you hone in on your desires and what you really are willing to share your life with.

Exercise 1: Using the qualities you found from the same exercise you did in “Evaluating Yourself to Build a Profile “ (March 11, 2010) reflect on several relationships so you have a diverse group of men / women to compare to. You may include non romantic male/ female  relationships (i.e. father, brother co-worker etc)

Exercise 2: Think about 2-4 relationships that didn’t go well and answer the following questions:

a. I felt ________(unhappy, sad, mad etc) with ______because he/she was (a cheat, inconsiderate etc)

b. These personality types/characteristics spell trouble for me:

c. I have learned the following from the above mistakes:

Exercise 3: Make a “Must Have- Back to Basics” list. Make a list of the 10 basic must haves in your perfect relationship. Most of us have basic wants are in a relationship and most studies show that the more in common we have with our significant other the better we withstand the turbulent times. Things like common religions, education and race. There are other basics you might want to include like, smoking, drinking, jobs, pets, families. children, etc. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions to the “basics” list and that you will get them all, but again it does help to recognize what these wants are.