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Monday, March 29, 2010

4 Reasons People Sabotage Their Dating Life

I have to admit when I first thought about online dating I was a little shy. After all when I was going to try it, it wasn’t exactly the “thing” to do. At least now there are much more online dating services to choose from and chances are many of your friends have already been online dating. If that is so, it will help to ask one of your friends to help you if you are one of the type who likes the buddy system. I remember my girlfriend asked me for help. She needed a little encouragement and needed to be shoed the “ropes” of how to get online and fill out the profile. Most of all what helped was the encouragement. She had already talked herself out of any good that could come from this type of dating that without a little one on one support, I doubt she would of taken the first step. On the other hand, many of you are independent and just need a little push and instruction that these blogs will give you. In fact you may like that fact that your family and friends do not know what you are quite up to yet. Whatever the case is please keep in mind that whatever may be hindering you, you first have to recognize it , deal with it and then move forward. Here are some typical things people let get in the way of their online dating success:

1. I am Bad with Computers or do not Own a Computer: Hey remember the phase “Where there is a will there is a way”. Well like I was telling you not only did my friend need a little encouragement, she did not own a computer, the only access she had to a computer was at work. At work she could only receive emails and not return them? Pretty tough odds you say of getting an online date ? Well not if you are willing to go the extra mile. I was her go between and she did end up meeting and dating a wonderful man for over two years! If you do not want a go between there are public computers at the library and that is always another option.

2. It’s not Romantic: Many people think this but actually this is so far from the truth. When I first went online, I was able to read many profiles which gave me an insight into the persons personality, their likes and dislikes, what they had in common with me and what was different from me. From there if I choose to correspond with them it gave me a basis to start up a conversation. I emailed for weeks on end without being board because we did have so many things in common. Once we chose to meet we already had a friendship foundation on which we could develop the relationship further. For me it was very romantic that someone was so interested in getting to know so much about me over a longer period of time than just a couple of drinks and a few dates.

3. Does it Really Work? The first time I was introduced to online dating it was through one of my older friends who had been dating online for quite a while. I was taken aback at first but then warmed up to the idea after she had told me how many wonderful men she had met. Did she ever meet any frogs? Of course she had . And no surprise, some did not even match the picture in their profile. Bottom line, like everything else in life, some people are honest and some are not. Online dating is popular for millions of people and many of them have success with online dating.

4. Is it Safe? For many people one of the first things they ask is if online dating is safe. Have you ever thought to yourself how safe is meeting someone in a bar, restaurant, golf course, playing tennis? The fact is that when we meet a stranger we really don’t know much about that person until we slowly get to know them. As we do in any other circumstance, we should always use our best judgment when first getting to know someone. We will talk more about this at a later time.

There are probably many more things people have that hinder them from taking that first step. The important thing to know is to first realize that you are hindering yourself, acknowledge what you are doing, find out why you are sabotaging yourself, strife to overcome these obstacles, and hopefully you will choose to move forward – Happy dating !

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